It's been a while since I last logged on. We have been living in our new place for three weeks now, so we're finally feeling settled a bit. We have yet to sign up for internet service of our own, so that's mostly why I haven't been writing here. But before you think I've just logged off completely and am living some sort of primitive life, know that I spend LOTS of time on my iPhone. Too much maybe.
See the thing is, living in a small town makes my whole life seem a bit small. I find myself digging into just about anything I can to feel added purpose in my days; and I hate that. It seems it's hard for me to accept that a life that's not busy can still be very full.
I think about my children. The one thing that reminds me of God's mercy on my worst days is how He trusted me with these amazing lives. I get to show them through my life how centering everything around God and His word can bring peace to any sort of day. I get to influence the way they think about their lives. I get to be the voice in their head reminding them of how to act and react to situations in their lives, and hopefully I can build a relationship with them that will bless their lives and mine as they grow.
I don't believe standing on a stage somewhere with the full attention of thousands could be nearly as vital as my role as a mother. And while all I really want to do is reach the lost, I have to remember that my sons are part of that group. They are young, but they are not innocent. They need salvation as much as anyone right now, and that is my assignment. Quite honestly, giving food to the needy in a foreign country seems less intimidating than the task I have at hand, but I refuse to run.
I refuse to run to the church every waking hour of our week, hoping someone else might be able to do the job. I refuse to drag my kids around to a bunch of stuff they hate just to stay busy. I refuse to tune them out because making my name known means more, it doesn't. Social media doesn't really matter. I mean, not more than my children's eternity.
A quiet life still holds its weight in heaven, as long as I am obediently taking every opportunity God gives me to pour out His love in my tiny little world.
Let's not forget- He pursues us. He doesn't do it just to put us to work. He wants to know us and for us to know Him! Relish the relationship. Dive into His word. Enjoy the beauty of the day, and appreciate its maker. Sing to Him, rejoice in His mercy!
Drop the guilt of feeling like you're not Billy Graham. You were, after all, bought at the same price that he was. Your days are just as important to God.
From my little world to yours-
Lindsay
