Meanwhile, June hit in full swing and I was so happy! But somewhere around the end of June I realized I was not enjoying it like I thought. It was a lot of lugging things around, dealing with bored, whiny kids and trying to not overspend on all the activities I felt I was supposed to be doing.
What the heck?! When did it get this way? When did I begin to believe that the only way to spend time with people is by doing a bunch of stuff?
Rewind to my early adult years (18-23), I was building some pretty deep relationships. Most of what we did was hang out at one of our houses, grabbed some cheap food and stayed up all night talking about whatever. For the most part, I've stayed in touch with those friends and we all cheer each other on from afar. Still, deep down, I think I'm afraid of that kind of closeness again. It's a raw feeling to allow others to know you that deeply.
But why then, am I running around trying to be busy? Is it so people will think I'm interesting? Is it so I can be around people but not have to really get to know them? My guess: Some of both.
So much of the conversations I hear are about what everyone did for the weekend, what awesome stuff their kids are into, what trips they're taking and all the amazing things I need to experience to be part of the club. It can feel heavy at times to think so much expectation is not only on you, but also your kids! I mean, whoa! My 5 year old doesn't need to be training for the Olympics for me to love him.
Are you like me? Are you caught up in this cycle of thinking you're too much for others to handle, not enough for people to actually like, and totally fine on your own? Well, I've been wrong. And you might be too. We need those deep relationships, we are totally lovable and perhaps you need a good friend to help you manage all your crazy. I bet if you look, you'll find a few like-minded people you actually enjoy spending time with.
So here's the challenge: invite someone over. Invite them for dinner. Invite them to hang out. Don't make it a big fuss. Don't over-complicate it with a fancy menu or try and tie in some other activity. Just hang out.
Because we might not be the only ones. There might be a busy gal out there who thinks her rush is the only way to be social. Perhaps she believes she has to do all the things to be deemed worthy of joy. Maybe she's scared like I am that if people get too close, they will exploit her weaknesses. Let's show her that's not us.
Fast-forward 20 years. When I do, I see my parents. I see them enjoying just hanging out with their friends. Yes! They get to travel and enjoy the freedom of empty-nesting, but what I see most is that the friendships they build are treasures. I'm hoping it doesn't take me another 20 years to learn that.
I expect you've already got a friend in mind. Someone you want to know better but "life" seems to always be in the way. Tell "life" to move over, because fullness is about to move in. This stage of life poses enough challenges, so let's stop putting so much pressure on ourselves. Let's allow fellowship to flourish.
