Coming into the summer, almost everyone has atleast one wedding to attend. For me it's my best friend! It's been so much fun talking to her through the last few months and seeing her transform from a confused single young lady, to a trying-to-figure-it-out Bride-to-be. It reminds me of when Allen and I were just starting out. All the ridiculous fights and conversations, all the anticipation for whatever the future would hold. And it has reminded me of how much I truly love my husband! The things nobody sees in him that I do, the silliness, the little habits that sometimes drive me nuts. He is honestly the piece of me that was missing for 17 years.
If you're married, you may also know that there are those days you just want to rip your spouses head off! We think, "why don't you do what I say!" and all we want is to be in total control. When that plans fails and the frustration sets in, all we see are the things we dislike. We feel powerless to change it, so we start doubting if this was really what we wanted. It was. It still is. Because it may be worth someone pushing your buttons for me to grow as a person.
Paul's letters to the churches have been hitting me full force for the last week or so. Everytime I feel like I'm struggling with my attitude or don't know how to correct my thoughts in certain areas, I open up to Romans or Ephesians or II Corinthians and BAM! shooting straight to my heart, I get a fresh perspective. So I consulted him on: how to feel love for someone who just isn't getting what you want from them at the moment.
Sometimes you wait patiently for the still, small voice. Other times you get an obnoxious wake-up call while you're still warm and cozy in your folly.
Romans 12:9-13
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil, love what is good.
I'm not saying my husband is evil. But this makes the point that you cannot love someone while focusing on their flaws. Love the things you love about that person, because perception is reality.
Recently our pastor did a series on relationships and he made this point: It is not fair to judge others by their actions and yourself by your intentions. What would happen if we turned that around? If we thought about the effect our actions have on others? If we gave everyone the benefit of the doubt that they weren't really trying to be offensive? I feel like we would all live our lives a little less wounded and a lot more loving.
This is a challenge to myself to look at the positives and to appreciated the beautifully flawed in every person. Even in myself. Because to long for perfection in humanity is to be left empty-handed.
-Lindsay
