Reading the Bible as a teenager, I began to feel like it was a big list of don'ts; and for me, being raised in church I was pretty happy to comply with them. But something starts to happen when everyone sees God's word that way. We all start to feel a little bit afraid of everything. We ask questions like "is it a sin to _______?" (smoke weed, eat meat, drink alcohol, etc.) When really the questions we should be asking are "God, is my heart tuned into yours?" "Am I doing this for the right reasons?" "who's approval am I seeking?"
The big problem with Christians feeling fearful is that we react in one of two ways:
1) We treat everything like a sin and rob ourselves and others of our God-given freedom, or
2) We start treating our Christian walks like a game, always trying to find a loop-hole to get a step ahead.
Do you want to know where I think this trips us up the most?
Sexuality.
From Genesis- Revelation the word talks about sex, and mostly what we should abstain from.
That tends to send us spiraling into fear because there are so many things that aren't specifically addressed. We're afraid of it. Our teachers are afraid of it. We don't feel like we have answers, so we handle it in one of the two ways described above.
That leads us to rooms and conversations I can say I wish had never happened. As a teenager, serving at a Christian summer camp, I, along with about six other girls were sat down and told that the way we were dressing was causing the boys to have to masturbate. My initial thoughts were something like, "isn't that their problem?" But it never seems to be. I've sat through numerous teachings, big and small, that carefully explained why men are so sexually vulnerable. They're apparently visual (aren't we all?) And while some science kinda backs that, I don't see where the Bible does. Men and women are both sexually vulnerable. It's just for different reasons.
- men view sex as something they can conquer,
- women view sex as a form of love, attention or affection.
But according to the general christian population, the solution is for women to wear more clothing and for all of us to get married ASAP.
Okay, now if you all will bare (ha ha.. get it) with me for moment, let it be known: I care deeply about my brothers in Christ. So much so that when I get dressed in the morning, I ask myself if what I'm wearing is going to be a distraction to the men around me. If it's even borderline, I am willing to change. But who decided that
1) Men are not strong enough to fight temptation, and therefore must be handled with kids gloves,
2) Women should be held accountable for a man's sin and
3) women's struggles are less important and don't need to be addressed.
Does a woman's provocative clothing express a deep desire for attention? Yes. But we're not dealing with heart issues here, are we? We're merely spraying perfume on caskets.
Correction
could be such a powerful tool in the body if it were not being used to soothe the fears of our leaders. The sad truth is that I'm not sure many of us even know what victory over sexual temptation looks like anymore. It's no wonder we're all afraid of it. But fear does not overcome.
Faith overcomes. What if we were to radically change the way we see the Bible? What if every time we read a command or a strong suggestion against certain sexual acts, we didn't tremble with fear? What if every time we read about something God wants us to stay away from, we see that God is saying,
"it is possible." ? Read
Romans 1:18-24. In verse 24 it says that God gave them over to their sinful desires and sexual impurity. But this is after refusal to glorify the God that they knew and instead choosing to think like the world and worship idols! It would take a lot for most of us to get to the point where God does not supply the strength we need through our temptations.
Let's look more specifically at what verse 20 says-
For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.
We are without excuse. We may not want to believe that, but that's the truth. We know God's power and His goodness. We can see evidence of it everywhere. We say that we know Him. So why are we putting Him in a box? Does His ability to deliver stop at sexual temptation? Does our free will not apply here? Are we just waiting for temptation to grab hold and drag us through the mud with neither ourselves nor God able to stop it? NO!
I'm not coming to you as a bitter woman proclaiming that life has been unfair to me. I am coming to you as a mother. I would be doing my sons a huge injustice to continue these lies that they have to be victims of physical urges for the rest of their lives. That the only solution is marriage, and at that, their wives are only there to help them sexually. I would be failing my daughter if I didn't tell her that the choices she makes with with her body need to be made between her and God, not out of guilt or fear. It would be a mistake to assume that my sons will be the only ones faced with sexual temptations or that my daughter will crave attention more than my sons will.
Is there anyone willing to stand with me on this? I want my children to know the truth. I want that for your family, too.
Lindarella
