What to Wear to a Wedding, and Why it Actually Matters

At 17, I was so excited to plan my own wedding. I had thought about all the things that I wanted it to be. Magical would be the best description. Even though some of the details of my special day didn't turn out to be all I had imagined (surprise! planning a wedding in 3 months does not usually match a Disney fairytale kind of wedding), it was magical. Most of what I remember from that day is the smile plastered on my face, not because I had to smile but because I was genuinely happy.
The thing I hadn't thought about in all my planning, though, was how people would show up.

Apparently it's a good thing we didn't spring for a big fancy ballroom because the minute the guests arrived, it would have snapped me back into the reality that a lot of people just don't care.

Those pictures last forever. For at least the first three years of our marriage, people would ask to look at them whenever they visited. So yes, Auntie in the ridiculously low-cut dress, all my friends and family have seen that more than once.

I have been to a fair share of weddings since throwing my own, and I must admit, I'm the guest inspecting everyone's attire. I know that's not what the day is about, but during the 45 minute photo session, what am I to do but look at the strange(rs) around me. Can you believe that, at my mother-in-law's wedding, the FEMALE officiant had the nerve to show up in a cream colored dress!

Take a look at this list from what not to wear. I have literally seen every one of these, except maybe bell bottoms, at a wedding.

This kind of hits spot-on what I find appropriate, except I think some women can pull off a nice outfit with dressy pants as long as that makes sense for the venue, season and the couple. I still prefer dresses.

There are so many useful tips out there, if you just take a moment to look into it. The fact is, what you wear says so much about you. If you show up looking flashy or overtly sexy, people see you as desperately seeking attention. You're taking away from the bride's day and that's just rude.

If you show up too casual, it comes off as though you don't really care to be there and you weren't expecting it to be a special occasion. Any wedding, regardless of the venue, is special. It's important to the couple. For you to be invited, it should be a special day for you as well. Don't bother showing up if you don't feel that way about it.

I hope that this can give you a little perspective before attending your next wedding. It's not about trying to impress, it's about being respectful to the time and effort put into the planning and showing your support to the bride and groom.

Lindsay

Apple Outfit Of The Day: Faking Curves

As some of you may know, my size has been an issue for most of my life. I've tried beating myself up about it. I've tried blame. I've tried tireless attempts to change my body, only to realize that it's not going to happen until I'm ready to make a life change.

I feel like I'm getting there, but in the meantime, I have to find a place where I'm ok being myself.

I'm an "apple shape" or, as I like to say, I have the profile of Winnie the Pooh. Not as endearing as it seems. The most frustrating part about BEING an apple shape, is that it feels like you're the only one. I mean, you can't wear what slender women are wearing even though you don't have hips and a large behind. Plus size seems to cater to: Hourglass/ pear shaped women, and the over-50s crowd.
Pencil skirts, forget it. A-line skirt.. try finding one in your size that looks flattering or one you can wear at your natural waist that's not too short. Sheath. Um no. And that's not even thinking about jeans.

It's a difficult place to be when you want to get healthy but feel so bad about yourself that you don't even want to try. I feel like my apple sisters could use some help! That's why I'm launching this new series, Apple Outfit Of the Day.

You will all have to forgive me if this is an odd picture, I've got to do what I can on my own here.

I want to make a point of saying that we're not trying to fool anyone into believing we're super skinny. I'm not, no matter what I wear.

Part one of dressing better is acceptance. I used to dress in clothes that didn't fit, thinking that squeezing into a tight Tee would make people believe I was smaller. It did the opposite. When I started to dress differently, close friends began asking if I had lost weight. This was POST baby! I reluctantly said "thanks, but I think I'm just dressing better."

Now that it's fall I want to talk about something we can all use as a tool in our wardrobe.
Layers!   

We hear a lot about layers and it is vital to understand that they can be done comfortably and casually. A lot of times, especially during the warmer parts of the year, I will wear a fitted tank top under whatever shirt I'm wearing that day. For one, it smoothes me out a little, but it also adds contrast. Today, I'm doing a comfy tank with a cardigan. I don't like blazers, but if it suits your work environment, go for it! there are a lot of soft cotton options out there, too, for more casual days.

Notice in the picture above, I'm not doing a magenta on magenta. It's ok to be bright! don't shy away from color in hopes that people will notice your body less. The contrasting colors add dimension and interest. Allow your clothes to show people your personality. With this cardigan I am able to fake some curves. Here are some ways you can, too-

1. make sure it fits. Going too big on a jacket or cardigan will age your look and give you a big balloon effect. It will likely be too long also, which will only make your shape seem more awkward.

2. Think about leaving it unbuttoned. If I close it up, it's going to hug all the parts of me that I'm trying to mask.

3. Find one that pulls in at your natural waist, or try belting it in place. If you have ever studied art or photography, you know that where the arrows point, the eye follows. Create triangular shapes to draw peoples eyes to your best features. In this example, the lines of the cardigan draw the eye to my chest area. AWAY from my dreaded tummy area.

4. By wearing jeans with some flare, I'm also creating balance. Because my waistline is wider than my hips and my legs are small, I have to anchor my outfit.

5. It's for the sake of balancing out that I also try and stay away from super high heels. You do not want to look like a marshmallow on a stick.

I sincerely hope this helps those of you out there that are dealing with the same issues. This really is about feeling comfortable in your own skin. If you are spending much of your time pulling and tugging and trying to hide, then you are living in a place of emotional torture. Remember:

your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth to God. I Peter 3:3-4

Let people see your capacity to love, that's beauty.
-lindsay