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| Here we are with our firstborn. Life was simple and we knew literally nothing. |
1. See the light at the end of the tunnel.
Your baby will only be a baby for one year! Once they start walking and talking, all the cuddly stuff tapers off and it's full on exploration mode. Enjoy the baby stuff. Hold them just because they want you to. And know that you will sleep a full night again. You will get to be alone with your spouse for longer than 2 hours again. If you focus on experiencing this first year to the fullest, you won't regret so much when it's over.
2. Build a Routine- but don't be it's slave.
Every parent will tell you that when you add a second child, the first thing you HAVE TO DO is get on a schedule. It's imperative to your sanity. But often times, I found myself enslaved by my own schedule. You have to have a little flex every now and then. And you cannot stress when things derail. It does not help, trust me.
Start with a basic sleep schedule- this is my rule of thumb:
6 hours awake, 2 hour nap
6 hours awake 10 hours asleep.
For my boys, that 6 hours was key in making sure they were actually tired enough to sleep. That might mean waking your child up earlier, it may mean not expecting them to be in bed at 7pm. It all depends on your day.
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| Little guys snoozing. Perfection. |
this falls in line with point 2, but I think it's the most important thing I learned with little guys. On days when my boys would not nap (age 1-4) they would wake up with night terrors. I thought it was bizarre at first, You'd think an exhausted child would sleep really well, but there's actually a lot of research that says the contrary. If you want your child to sleep well, make sure they are sleeping enough.
If you struggle getting your kids down for a nap, I suggest setting the mood (low lighting, soft music and less smiley-giggly games). Your child will pick up on the sense that you're stressed or just want them asleep and they will fight you more. Which brings me to my next point-
4. Set the tone for calm
Kids are more intuitive than we give them credit for. If you're feeling scared, stressed, angry, sad, etc., they will draw from that. It can produce a myriad of emotions flying around your home. It's important to stay calm. We are human, we are going to feel thing! But you will create unnecessary stress in your home if, for instance, the wind is howling and you stop dead in your tracks to listen to it (with panicky eyes searching around the room, of course). Your kids are not going to feel safe. They don't have the same rationalizing skills that we do. So, rationalize situations and the express those feelings. Like "hmm.. that wind sure is picking up tonight. I'm glad we have a safe, cozy home."
Also, just kill the bug. Don't scream. Don't panic. You have the power to teach kids to not be afraid!
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| #3 Clearly our happiest child because her parents actually know what they're doing (kinda) |
5. Don't buy expensive diapers
This might the most practical thing on my list, but let me tell you this:
Walmart diapers that say something like "compare to Huggies.." are going to be better diapers than Luvs. We used Luvs with out first two because they were cheaper, but still name-brand. I won't get too graphic, but we have seen some horrific blow-outs. Just don't. We have bought nothing but store brand diapers over the last year and our experience has been great! clothes stay cleaner, we don't have scary clean-ups in public bathrooms or entire crib sheets defaced.
Seriously, guys. Don't buy Luvs.
That's my list. I hope that it helps! I'll be sure to add on if I think of anything else.
Seasoned mamas, what's the best advice you give new mamas?
