Why Do We All Want Genius Children, Anyway?

I am not convinced teaching is my gift. At least not the sit down and explain things kind of teaching. Relationships- I'm pretty good at that. I mean, I read most people like a child's board book, so I would hope that in my daily interactions and teaching moments with my boys, they're getting that. But I feel like a total failure when it comes to crafts, writing and even numbers. But I'm starting to wonder if all of the pressure to be better at these things is in my head?

I spoke with a Kindergarten teacher who said she really didn't think preschool made a difference as far a child's ability to keep up when they start school. And that's just it- we all want to push our kids and we already feel behind (aren't 4-year-old kids in China taking Algebra 1 or something?) Is it anything more than a game of comparisons with other families?

For me it's been more like a big attempt to make up for lost time. If I would have pushed myself, I could have been an A student. But I didn't. I would have loved an AP English or choir solos, but I was too timid. Some of those things, you just can't knock out of a person. How many times did my parents tell me to be brave and outgoing? It's not like they didn't. I was just shy.

My son is just shy. When he starts responding to me in a weird voice or hiding behind something, he's just being shy. I get it, too. We're all a little bit afraid to let people see what's going on inside our minds. Perhaps my best effort in teaching him new things is to just keep talking to him. Let him know he's safe. He can mess up. He can give me a wrong answer, and I will give him as many second chances as it takes. Why? because that's what God does for me. He lets me know I'm safe and He give out grace like nobody's business.

I want to teach them to go after what they want and to dream big and to love people with an unfailing type of love. That gets taught by example, and I think I can do that with the help of a very gracious God. If my kids are B students and don't raise their hand because they're shy, they will be okay. I am. Especially now that I see my child's education is not my big comeback.

Still learning here-
Lindarella

Gloves Off- The Marital Argument

This morning I was pretty angry. I think it was about 70% sleepiness and about 25% annoyed with the coffee maker. It wasn't working and all I really wanted to do was make some coffee for Allen and I to start our day. And then the mudslinging began- "are you sure you ground the coffee right?" "do you think I'm an idiot?! of course I did." and some how all of his "helpful" little suggestions just seemed to spiral me into a state of fury. FURY! really? it's coffee. Not a big deal, maybe not all my fault and certainly not worth ruining our day over. So as I sat, sulking at the table with the light off, drinking my coffee made with a french press, he started to laugh it off. And as he walked out the door and said, "love you" I replied, still with a little attitude in my voice and my arms crossed, "love you too."
But if we're going to have disagreements I'm glad it's this kind. I'm glad it's the stupid cup of coffee fight and not a question of loyalty fight. I'm happy. A day where maybe your biggest problem is coffee seems like a pretty privileged life to me. But you know- it's how we handle those little ones that determine what some of the other fights are about. I mean if he would've kept up or if I would have decided not to help him get out the door on time, we'd have a pretty ugly night ahead of us.
In the midst of an argument, ladies, take a step back, take a deep breath and trust God. Do good regardless of what you think will teach the lesson. But most of all, do not start being irrational. The whole "I can't even do this one thing! why would he still love me if I can't...blah blah blah" It's not becoming. You're getting into your own head and ruining your own day and it's just not worth that. Don't give the enemy the satisfaction of having a day off from you.
The ugly truth is that fights happen. But the beauty of it is that it works out our insecurities. In the midst of it, God shows His grace for us and gives us some helpful hints along the way to do less and less damage each time. THANK GOD! Because if it were up to me and my rebellion, I would have tried to prove my point right out the door.
I'm going to try and swallow my pride and focus on fighting the things that try to divide us, not the person I multiply with. (math humor.. eh? eh?) But really, I'm refocusing my energy- not on flesh and blood but on the darkness that constantly tries to creep in.

Fight the good fight 
Lindarella