How my favorite movie helped me see Proverbs 31 differently

I've got to say, as a girl who grew up in church, there might be no other passage of scripture I was taught more than Proverbs 31. During seasons of insecurity and wavering faith, it's something I've come back to, reminding me of the type of woman I want to be. It's something God has used in so many ways in my life. However, about a year ago, I had this realization:

The target audience here was a son!

I immediately began to question everything because as a mother of two boys, I am highly aware that there may never be a girl I deem "good enough" for my sons. Could it be that this is a biblical Monster-In-Law? How did I not see it sooner? But don't worry. I haven't ruled it out completely, since it is God's word. After all, it holds validity in my life.

Which brings me to my most favorite movie ever: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

I'll give you the breakdown, in case your not a classic musical nerd like I am.

The oldest of seven brothers (backwoodsmen) decides to go into town to find a wife. He meets a lovely woman named Milly at a local diner. He likes her spunk and hard working attitude and quickly convinces her to marry him. It's not until they get home that she realizes that there are 7 single men living here, and they need a lot of help with the upkeep of the place. She gets upset, naturally. She thought this was going to be her happily ever after. Instead she feels cheated, like he chose her as a maid, not a wife.

There's this line, though, that is not overly romantic, but I find it sweet.
Adam (the eldest brother) tells Milly that he knew he needed someone to "work alongside him."
Boy! isn't that marriage for you? Not all romance and deep conversations. Sometimes we both just get to work knowing the other is right there with us, doing the same.

I think this is what the King Lemuel's mother understood.
The first 9 verses are focused on the behavior and duties of a king. Then she continues into describing a Wife of Noble Character.

This was a mother explaining to her son that he was going to need good support in the life he was given. That drinking and sleeping around were not going to get the job done. That he needed to see the beauty of a woman with self-discipline, strength and independence.

I am saddened that for a lot of my life, I looked at this as a checklist of all the things I should do to be a good christian, a good wife and a good woman in general. I have allowed it to be something that makes me feel indebted rather than empowered. I look at this woman and think "wow! she does a lot on her own and for others." It makes me realize that maybe what my husband needs is not to be needed. Perhaps he needs me to be more of a team player.

First, I am convicted that this portion of the word is not exclusively written for women. God's word is for all of us. My sons could gain a lot of wisdom and avoid a lot of hurt by knowing these truths.

Secondly, I am reminded that there are ways I can evolve as a wife. It's not enough to think "he already chose me." Our lives change so frequently, that I have to be willing to grow toward Christ, or this thing called marriage could one day elude me.

It is always important to return to the word of God. Always. That said, some of the things listed here might not be relevant to your life specifically (like All. The. Sashes). Or sewing in general. I don't know! But I think what we should look at here is her heart. She stays productive (not just busy). She is generous. She makes good choices. She blesses her husband and children.

So maybe I look at this a guideline for things I want to get better at, not a to-do list for love. Most of all, I hope to see it as a possibility for my life, not something that brings shame in the areas I presently lack. Let's also remember that for every high standard God has, there's an even higher measure of grace.

Proverbs 31 is a picture of high functioning marriage. One that sets an example for a whole Kingdom! Again. Not necessarily an exact fit, but let's just call it "community" because that makes a little more sense in my life.

 May we all see the truth: that what we do, we do alongside the ones we love.

Have a Wonderful, Wonderful day, y'all!