Why my kids can act like the little sinners they are

A few weeks ago, upon arriving at the rehearsal for our Christmas Eve service, my two boys began fighting. Back and forth, they punched and kicked each other down the center aisle of the auditorium of our church. I immediately felt the embarrassment rush to my face as I thought, "oh no, not at church!" But I didn't dare utter such words. Why not? Because I don't want my kids to think that way.

You see, every time I hear a testimony that begins with "I grew up in church.." I know the outline of the rest of the story. If you've lived it, you do, too. It usually is a prodigal-like story of thinking they thought they had their life all figured out and then eventually hit the realization that they too were sinners in need of saving.

This is cycle I hope to break with my children. We will take them to church and teach them about Jesus. We will have lots of discussions about the bible. We will find ways to relate God's word back to things they are dealing with in life. We will pray, worship and learn together. But I refuse to put Holy requirements on my unsaved children. It is my prayer that they make the decision to accept salvation sooner rather than later in life; and the moment they do, our relationship will become one of discipleship. But until then, everything is treated as outreach.

I am by no means the perfect parent. I have regrets from earlier today, for crying out loud! But this is one thing I have resolved to stick to. They will know Jesus loves them as sinners in their worst moment, not only at their best. They will know that His love is not contingent on folding their hands and closing their eyes during prayer, never saying bad words and always listening to their parents. I can't allow them to see God like that, because that's not who He is to me. He's loving and tenderhearted toward me, correcting me with peace and patience. I have to allow them to know God that way, and the best way I can do it is to model that, apologize when I blow it and let their own path take shape.

As a lifetime church girl, it feels a little like a social gamble, but it does not feel like a spiritual one at all. As hard as it is to face the world with church kids who don't act like "good christian kids," it would tear me apart to see them playing an unnecessary role only to find out years later that they missed the point. My goal is not perfection on the outside but repentance on the inside. Anything less is setting them up for a lifetime of undervaluing grace.

Confession: I've been trading busyness for community and it has to stop

I remember May in all its glory. Dragging on and on with its to-do list. The pile up of birthday parties and Memorial Day and longing for Summer. I had envisioned Summer to be the best time ever. We were going to be lounging pool-side all day only to come home to a clean house (because we hadn't been there all day) and a husband eager to grill op something delicious. Ahhh.. It was such a nice fantasy. 

 Meanwhile, June hit in full swing and I was so happy! But somewhere around the end of June I realized I was not enjoying it like I thought. It was a lot of lugging things around, dealing with bored, whiny kids and trying to not overspend on all the activities I felt I was supposed to be doing. 

What the heck?! When did it get this way? When did I begin to believe that the only way to spend time with people is by doing a bunch of stuff? 

Rewind to my early adult years (18-23), I was building some pretty deep relationships. Most of what we did was hang out at one of our houses, grabbed some cheap food and stayed up all night talking about whatever. For the most part, I've stayed in touch with those friends and we all cheer each other on from afar. Still, deep down, I think I'm afraid of that kind of closeness again. It's a raw feeling to allow others to know you that deeply. 

But why then, am I running around trying to be busy? Is it so people will think I'm interesting? Is it so I can be around people but not have to really get to know them? My guess: Some of both. 

So much of the conversations I hear are about what everyone did for the weekend, what awesome stuff their kids are into, what trips they're taking and all the amazing things I need to experience to be part of the club. It can feel heavy at times to think so much expectation is not only on you, but also your kids! I mean, whoa! My 5 year old doesn't need to be training for the Olympics for me to love him. 

Are you like me? Are you caught up in this cycle of thinking you're too much for others to handle, not enough for people to actually like, and totally fine on your own? Well, I've been wrong. And you might be too. We need those deep relationships, we are totally lovable and perhaps you need a good friend to help you manage all your crazy. I bet if you look, you'll find a few like-minded people you actually enjoy spending time with. 

So here's the challenge: invite someone over. Invite them for dinner. Invite them to hang out. Don't make it a big fuss. Don't over-complicate it with a fancy menu or try and tie in some other activity. Just hang out. 

Because we might not be the only ones. There might be a busy gal out there who thinks her rush is the only way to be social. Perhaps she believes she has to do all the things to be deemed worthy of joy. Maybe she's scared like I am that if people get too close, they will exploit her weaknesses. Let's show her that's not us. 

Fast-forward 20 years. When I do, I see my parents. I see them enjoying just hanging out with their friends. Yes! They get to travel and enjoy the freedom of empty-nesting, but what I see most is that the friendships they build are treasures. I'm hoping it doesn't take me another 20 years to learn that. 

I expect you've already got a friend in mind. Someone you want to know better but "life" seems to always be in the way. Tell "life" to move over, because fullness is about to move in. This stage of life poses enough challenges, so let's stop putting so much pressure on ourselves. Let's allow fellowship to flourish. 

How my favorite movie helped me see Proverbs 31 differently

I've got to say, as a girl who grew up in church, there might be no other passage of scripture I was taught more than Proverbs 31. During seasons of insecurity and wavering faith, it's something I've come back to, reminding me of the type of woman I want to be. It's something God has used in so many ways in my life. However, about a year ago, I had this realization:

The target audience here was a son!

I immediately began to question everything because as a mother of two boys, I am highly aware that there may never be a girl I deem "good enough" for my sons. Could it be that this is a biblical Monster-In-Law? How did I not see it sooner? But don't worry. I haven't ruled it out completely, since it is God's word. After all, it holds validity in my life.

Which brings me to my most favorite movie ever: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

I'll give you the breakdown, in case your not a classic musical nerd like I am.

The oldest of seven brothers (backwoodsmen) decides to go into town to find a wife. He meets a lovely woman named Milly at a local diner. He likes her spunk and hard working attitude and quickly convinces her to marry him. It's not until they get home that she realizes that there are 7 single men living here, and they need a lot of help with the upkeep of the place. She gets upset, naturally. She thought this was going to be her happily ever after. Instead she feels cheated, like he chose her as a maid, not a wife.

There's this line, though, that is not overly romantic, but I find it sweet.
Adam (the eldest brother) tells Milly that he knew he needed someone to "work alongside him."
Boy! isn't that marriage for you? Not all romance and deep conversations. Sometimes we both just get to work knowing the other is right there with us, doing the same.

I think this is what the King Lemuel's mother understood.
The first 9 verses are focused on the behavior and duties of a king. Then she continues into describing a Wife of Noble Character.

This was a mother explaining to her son that he was going to need good support in the life he was given. That drinking and sleeping around were not going to get the job done. That he needed to see the beauty of a woman with self-discipline, strength and independence.

I am saddened that for a lot of my life, I looked at this as a checklist of all the things I should do to be a good christian, a good wife and a good woman in general. I have allowed it to be something that makes me feel indebted rather than empowered. I look at this woman and think "wow! she does a lot on her own and for others." It makes me realize that maybe what my husband needs is not to be needed. Perhaps he needs me to be more of a team player.

First, I am convicted that this portion of the word is not exclusively written for women. God's word is for all of us. My sons could gain a lot of wisdom and avoid a lot of hurt by knowing these truths.

Secondly, I am reminded that there are ways I can evolve as a wife. It's not enough to think "he already chose me." Our lives change so frequently, that I have to be willing to grow toward Christ, or this thing called marriage could one day elude me.

It is always important to return to the word of God. Always. That said, some of the things listed here might not be relevant to your life specifically (like All. The. Sashes). Or sewing in general. I don't know! But I think what we should look at here is her heart. She stays productive (not just busy). She is generous. She makes good choices. She blesses her husband and children.

So maybe I look at this a guideline for things I want to get better at, not a to-do list for love. Most of all, I hope to see it as a possibility for my life, not something that brings shame in the areas I presently lack. Let's also remember that for every high standard God has, there's an even higher measure of grace.

Proverbs 31 is a picture of high functioning marriage. One that sets an example for a whole Kingdom! Again. Not necessarily an exact fit, but let's just call it "community" because that makes a little more sense in my life.

 May we all see the truth: that what we do, we do alongside the ones we love.

Have a Wonderful, Wonderful day, y'all!

Fun & Purposeful Advent Activities (25 day plan)



Advent Activities with rest, family time and Jesus-focus built in

December is just around the corner, and while I have been listening to Christmas Music since November 1st (all bets are off after Halloween, if you as me) We haven't done much around the castle to really get in the spirit.
Since my sons were very young, I've really made a point to focus on the truth of Christmas. I'm not "anti-Santa" or anything. It's just not about that for us. Some of our traditions are more mainstream, like watching Rudolph. But as time draws nearer, I like to really fix our eyes on Jesus. I think there are plenty of ideas out there on the two extremes, but I wanted to make a well thought-out list for those of us who tend to embrace both spiritual and festive traditions throughout the season. Here goes!

1. Decorate. We won't get our tree until later on, but we will at least get started.
2. Read The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. If you don't have a copy, try your local library OR watch this reading on Youtube.
3. Christmas Parade. That's the date for our town, anyway. (Tip- Make something in the crockpot)
4. Put up tree. We are planning to make a day of it and go get one, but that might end up being a trip to Lowe's.
5. Send out Christmas Cards. Get on it, girls!
6. Make cookies together.
7. Cookie Exchange with neighbors.
8. Wrap a few presents. It's nice to have some under the tree.
9. Family Night! (game, dinner out, local activity)
10. Hang Candy Canes on tree and read the Candy Cane Gospel
11. Watch Elf.
12. Read The Night Before Christmas. I know.. it's not Christmas Eve.
13. Christmas Dinner with friends.
14. Make Tamales. This is a Christmas in New Mexico staple.
15. String popcorn.
16. Make Nativity Ornaments.These are Cute, but pinterest has infinite ideas if you're crafty.
17. Family Christmas Party.
18. Watch Rudolph.
19. Read The Christmas Story in Luke Chapter 2
20. Take a day to put finishing touches on your decorations, rest and prepare Him room.
21. Christmas Light Scavenger Hunt. My favorite tradition! I like This List, but there are lots out there. Don't forget hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.
22. Finish Wrapping gifts (if you have them all!)
23. Pray for those you've invited to your Christmas Eve service. Make Faralitos (Google it)
24. Attend Christmas Eve Service. Afterward we give the kids their Christmas Jammies as an early present.
25. Open presents!!!! Later on, we will watch A Christmas Story. That's our family's favorite.


How you can Let Love Live in a lost time

Has it ever bothered you that in 1 Peter 5:8 the devil is compared to a lion, but in Revelation 5:5 Jesus is called the Lion of Judah? I mean, I kinda wanted to Lion thing to be sacred. Exclusively Jesus. It wasn't until recently that I realized what 1 Peter really says:

 Be alert and of sober mind.

 Your enemy the devil prowls around 

like a roaring lion 

looking for someone to devour.

This is the truth. The enemy knows better than to be overtly evil. He knows that even newborn Christians will sniff that stuff out. So, instead he disguises himself to look and sound a lot like what we believe is good. This is the place where many of us slip through the cracks. The ones who get "devoured" are the ones who know enough of the Bible to see what's mostly true, but don't have enough of the truth in their hearts to reject what is counterfeit. 

Let me give you a quick example. We all here the yogis of the world say "Namaste." And whether or not you even do yoga, you've maybe given this greeting jokingly or otherwise. But do you really know what Namaste means? 

In Hinduism is literally means "I bow to the divine in you."
Now, do you feel like that's a big deal? Maybe. Maybe not. But just in saying that, I've confessed with my own mouth an open door to something I don't even know.

Without God's spirit giving me discernment, I would probably do lots of that kind of thing blindly. It's not to say that there's not grace, because GRACE IS EVERYTHING. But, sometimes His grace is a strong aversion to something, even if you don't know why. 

Now, can I tell you where I see many of us being devoured?

Love. 

The world has gone to great lengths to confuse love. Love has been muddied with similar things like sex, equality and attention. While those things are not inherently bad, they are not the definition of love. 

1 Corinthians 13 is a great place to start when defining love. Most of us are familiar with it, in fact, I memorized this passage as a teenager and much of is has stuck. I needed a reminder, though because there are some good bits in there that I sometimes overlook. 

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, 

it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 

7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I want to focus our attention on versed 6 and 7. It does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. Whoa! What does that look like? I mean everything we see and hear right now is all about acceptance. "I respect your choices." But that is not love. God is love, and God's definition here says we don't get to laugh off situations that are putting our loved ones in danger. 

We rejoice in the truth! We don't have to be afraid of it. It doesn't mean our delivery of that truth is boastful (see vs 4). We can speak kindly, but we have to be honest and we have to be confident in that. Why? because in verse 7, we are told that love protects. It trusts. It hopes. How is agreeing with sin protective? How is it hopeful? It's not. In fact, it does the opposite. It says that our friends are a lost cause and it's not worth the effort to be honest with them. 

We, as the church, have an obligation to define love for this world. I know that sounds like a tall order, but we are the only ones who even know what love really looks like. If God is Love and God is in us, then really we just need to lose the fluff this world has taught us and walk in who we really are. 

Lastly, I want to look at perseverance. That is something you only need in times that are tough. We have to understand that love is not the airbrushed relationships we see on Netflix. It's sticky and emotional, and I don't only mean romantic relationships. Friendships and family dynamics are just as complicated. But God's love perseveres. We don't quit or back down just because someone pulls away from truth. We lovingly keep trying. We keep speaking life and truth over them. We rejoice in their every little victory and we trust their apologies. 

Believe me when I say that I am not a master of this at all. But I know I can be and you can be, too. 

We have got to do this, because the broken world out there needs to know love. 

They've tried to redefine it or create their own version of it, but now it's time for us to introduce them to it. 

Let love live-

Lindsay 

Momming like a Boss- Handle your first like a seasoned vet

My third child turned one this month and it's had me reflecting on how easy the last year was. A big contributor to that was her wonderfully content disposition. I mean, really, she's a very easy-going child. But I also like to think that a little experience on my part has made me a more easy-going parent. It's given me the ability to not sweat the small stuff and enjoy this first year a lot more than I did with the first two (sorry, guys!)

Here we are with our firstborn. Life was simple and we knew
literally nothing. 

With all that in mind, I thought it might be nice to write down a few things that I've learned. Maybe a first-timer can take my word for it and breeze through that first year! It's worth a shot, right? 

1. See the light at the end of the tunnel. 

Your baby will only be a baby for one year! Once they start walking and talking, all the cuddly stuff tapers off and it's full on exploration mode. Enjoy the baby stuff. Hold them just because they want you  to. And know that you will sleep a full night again. You will get to be alone with your spouse for longer than 2 hours again. If you focus on experiencing this first year to the fullest, you won't regret so much when it's over. 

2. Build a Routine- but don't be it's slave. 

Every parent will tell you that when you add a second child, the first thing you HAVE TO DO is get on a schedule. It's imperative to your sanity. But often times, I found myself enslaved by my own schedule. You have to have a little flex every now and then. And you cannot stress when things derail. It does not help, trust me. 

Start with a basic sleep schedule- this is my rule of thumb:

6 hours awake, 2 hour nap

6 hours awake 10 hours asleep. 

For my boys, that 6 hours was key in making sure they were actually tired enough to sleep. That might mean waking your child up earlier, it may mean not expecting them to be in bed at 7pm. It all depends on your day. 

Little guys snoozing. Perfection. 

3. Don't Skip the Nap

this falls in line with point 2, but I think it's the most important thing I learned with little guys. On days when my boys would not nap (age 1-4) they would wake up with night terrors. I thought it was bizarre at first, You'd think an exhausted child would sleep really well, but there's actually a lot of research that says the contrary. If you want your child to sleep well, make sure they are sleeping enough. 

If you struggle getting your kids down for a nap, I suggest setting the mood (low lighting, soft music and less smiley-giggly games). Your child will pick up on the sense that you're stressed or just want them asleep and they will fight you more. Which brings me to my next point-

4. Set the tone for calm

Kids are more intuitive than we give them credit for. If you're feeling scared, stressed, angry, sad, etc., they will draw from that. It can produce a myriad of emotions flying around your home. It's important to stay calm. We are human, we are going to feel thing! But you will create unnecessary stress in your home if, for instance, the wind is howling and you stop dead in your tracks to listen to it (with panicky eyes searching around the room, of course). Your kids are not going to feel safe. They don't have the same rationalizing skills that we do. So, rationalize situations and the express those feelings. Like "hmm.. that wind sure is picking up tonight. I'm glad we have a safe, cozy home." 

Also, just kill the bug. Don't scream. Don't panic. You have the power to teach kids to not be afraid!  

#3 Clearly our happiest child because her parents actually
 know what they're doing (kinda)

5. Don't buy expensive diapers

This might the most practical thing on my list, but let me tell you this:

Walmart diapers that say something like "compare to Huggies.." are going to be better diapers than Luvs. We used Luvs with out first two because they were cheaper, but still name-brand. I won't get too graphic, but we have seen some horrific blow-outs. Just don't. We have bought nothing but store brand diapers over the last year and our experience has been great! clothes stay cleaner, we don't have scary clean-ups in public bathrooms or entire crib sheets defaced. 

Seriously, guys. Don't buy Luvs. 

That's my list. I hope that it helps! I'll be sure to add on if I think of anything else. 

Seasoned mamas, what's the best advice you give new mamas? 

Not-too-sweet no bake cookies

my oldest will be starting kindergarten next week! So aside from fighting back sobs on the daily, I've got two things on my mind:

1) sending him plenty of nutritional food, and

2) not breaking the budget

With summer heat in full swing, I'll take any opportunity to avoid using the oven. No bakes are a major no-brainier. Also, we almost always have all the necessary ingredients on hand. So without further ado-

THE RECIPE

these will be gone by tomorrow, btw. 

Stir over medium heat-

1/4 cup (4 tbsp) butter 

1/2 cup sugar- could maybe even get away with less!

1/4 cup milk 

4 tbsp cocoa powder

1/2 cup peanut butter

3 cups oatmeal 

Optional-

 tsp vanilla

1/2 tsp cinnamon

This should make about 2 dozen generous tablespoon sized cookies.

Drop these onto sheets of wax paper and then gently press them down with the back of a spoon. Let stand at room temperature for about 30 min or, for faster results, chill in the fridge. 

My boys LOVE these, and they really don't have any idea that these are packed with protein and fiber. They do keep their shape best if kept somewhat cool, so if you are thinking about lunch boxes like I am, remember to throw in an ice pack or other cool foods to help. 

His love for you has not run out

There's a passage in the bible that tells this story of a rich man who approached Jesus, asking him how to get into heaven. After verifying that he had not broken the law, Jesus gave him an ultimatum: Sell everything you have, give it to the poor and follow me. The man walked away from that opportunity because he couldn't part with the treasure he had stored up for himself.
Now, a lot of people look at this story and think that God is sort of harsh. You obey or don't. He doesn't have time to sit around and wait for you to decide. Today I want to walk this out a bit. See, I think that He can be that way, but it's not His character to be impatient. At His core, God is a planner.

Throughout Christ's ministry, we see situations like this where He had a short encounter with someone, gave them a simple choice and the two went separate ways. Our assumption is, in most of these cases that people took their new-found freedom, told others about it and lived happily ever after. We know for a fact that this guy did.

But what about the ones who took a little longer to come around? who are those people?
Let's take a look at Matthew 9:

9 As Jesus was going on down the road, he saw a tax collector, Matthew,[c]sitting at a tax collection booth. “Come and be my disciple,” Jesus said to him, and Matthew jumped up and went along with him.

10 Later, as Jesus and his disciples were eating dinner at Matthew’s house,[d]there were many notorious swindlers there as guests!

11 The Pharisees were indignant. “Why does your teacher associate with men like that?”

12 “Because people who are well don’t need a doctor! It’s the sick people who do!” was Jesus’ reply. 13 Then he added, “Now go away and learn the meaning of this verse of Scripture,

‘It isn’t your sacrifices and your gifts I want—I want you to be merciful.’[e]

For I have come to urge sinners, not the self-righteous, back to God.”

Do you think it's any coincidence that earlier that day, Matthew was considered a tax collector and now there's a bunch of thugs hanging out at his house? I don't. 

I think Matthew was looking for a way out of his current situation, and when Jesus gave him that chance, he jumped at it. A lot of times people jump into things, knowing it's a good deal, but don't always count the cost first. Maybe Matthew didn't realize that following Jesus would change everything about his life. Perhaps Jesus planned it that way.

Jesus is not an elitist. He didn't think He was too good to break bread with these guys, and he didn't want Matthew to think that either. In fact, if you look at the lives of the people Jesus associated most closely with, you'll see they were just people. They had fears and doubts. With each stop on their journey with Jesus, He showed them something new. 

That is exactly what he wants to do with us. He wants us to walk with Him on this journey and to learn things along the way. When the rich man gave up his opportunity, it wasn't because following Jesus was too hard. It was because he wanted to know he could obtain salvation on his own. 

That's not how God works. We don't have to be perfect. We don't have to change everything the second we accept Him. The only thing we have to do is trust Him. He will take care of the changing-us part. When we're scared, he might nudge us a little more. When we're resistant because we're uncertain, He might give that assignment to someone else more willing, but that doesn't mean he's given up on us. When we realize that we cannot do it alone and we accept Him fully, rest assured, He is happy to dine at your table, regardless of what else is there.

Jesus is not intimidated by sin. Look the end of verse 13- "I have come to urge sinners, not the self-righteous, back to God." He can't do a whole lot with a stubborn, unteachable, self-made person, not because He doesn't want to, but because he respects the free will he gave us. But sinners? Sinners in desperate need of Jesus are always welcome.

Wherever you are on your journey, I hope you know that Jesus loves you. He wants so badly to walk with you through the hard stuff you're going through. You can be a Matthew. You can say yes now, and let the rest work itself out over time. Just let him in. The only thing he needs to work in your life is an open door.

Dining at the mercy seat,
Lindarella 

How To Have Healthy Friendships

Friendship is a tricky thing. As a young woman who has lived in three different cities since I was 17, I've built relationships and watched many of them crumble. The friendships that have stood the test of time are the ones built on a good, healthy foundation.

Jealousy is maybe the biggest indicator that the friendship is not healthy. Yes, there are the friends who are jealous of your time and want you all to themselves, but what I'm talking about are the friends who envy what you have.

With all the bashing on social media going on, sometimes people feel like they can't say anything good or anything bad, ever, because it might hurt someone's feelings. That's extreme and unfair.

Complaining and bragging are not the same thing as feeling and appreciating things. 

If you don't feel like you can honestly talk about what is going in your life, the friendship's foundation is not good. For example, after giving birth to my daughter 9 weeks ago, I began to lose weight really quickly. Between breastfeeding and chasing around two other children, I'm burning a lot of calories. I was really excited and shared this with one of my dearest friends. I knew that she was having a harder time losing her baby weight, but she celebrated with me. And I look for ways to support her in her goals, too.  It's give and take.

The wrong reaction would have been her turning it back to herself, like "Oh you're so lucky. I wish I could do that. I hope I can.. I want.. I.. I... I.." That would have made me feel guilty for that little success. You should never feel guilty for good things happening in your life. You should feel thankful and humble. 

It also would have been wrong of me to list all the things I was doing to lose the weight. That would have made her feel bad. I want my friends to know I accept them and love the regardless of their imperfections.

If you've got relationships that you don't feel work this way, should you cut them out of your life? Not necessarily. Friendships are built on patterns, and you have the power to change the pattern.

Here's how:
Be the first to empathize. Feel what the other person is feeling, good or bad.
.
It can't be that simple can it? Yes, actually it can. We can thank our mental wiring for that. We all want to feel related to, in fact there are neurons in our brains called Mirror Neurons that cause us to copy the actions of others. (Now you know why you pick up weird accents around certain people.)

If you give this an honest chance and it still seems like the other person is not reciprocating the effort, that tells you something. Probably that the other person does not really desire to relate to you. In that case, slowly cutting back the friendship is probably not going to hurt any feelings in the end.

The fact is, this is a skill we all need to work on, because this is the way Christ responds to us. He became flesh to be able to experience our humanity and to overcome it.

Take a look at this parable:

The Parable of the Lost Coin

8 “Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins[a] and loses one. Doesn’t she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? 9 And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’ 10 In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

Luke 15:8-10

She confidently called her friends to rejoice with her, regardless of what they may have lost. For all we know, finances were a struggle for some of those friends. But they celebrated with her.

Let's be the friends that our friends can call. Let's be those that rejoice with others, even in the midst of our struggles. Let's be friends. 

Lindarella

Teaching Moments: Alphabet Hop-Scotch

My oldest is all about fun. All the time. This has posed some problems with trying to prepared him for Kindergarten. There have been tears, frustration, even yelling at one point. I thought that if I made teaching a priority, he would care to learn. And he does. He learns the names of all the Rescue Bots and Chima characters. He just doesn't want to sit and learn his letters! So we're done sitting. Yesterday I got a great idea for a little game we could play to help with letter recognition.

Alphabet Hop-Scotch 

Here's what you need:

Paper

markers or crayons

Masking Tape

Alphabet Flashcards (mine are from Dollar Tree!) 

Our roll of paper is from Ikea, but you could use sheets of paper, write the letters on them and place them close together. 

There are variations of this game, but since I'm really working on letter recognition, here's how to play: 

Shuffle the deck of alphabet cards, then have the first participant draw the top one. 

Tell the child the name of the letter, then let them find it on the "Letter Map." 

The object is to get to the letter without stepping on any others. 

For more of a challenge they can start from the other end of the Letter Map. Also, if they step on another letter, they have to say its name OR go back. You can gauge what will keep them most engaged in the activity.

  My 5 year old liked the challenge of starting from the opposite end from the letter, but my 3 year old just liked that he was getting them right. The point is to keep it fun. 

Variations: 

Name the letter. Encourage the child to remember the names of each letter. Really focus on recognizing its shape and talk about its sound. 

Play like real hop-scotch. Roll a lego onto the Letter Map, As they hop to it, ask them to name each letter the hop on. 

Build Words. Dollar Tree also has sight word flashcards. Use these (or make up your own list) And Have the child hop on the letters in that word. Think simple like "CAT" for instance. The first two letters are close together, but getting to that T would be a fun challenge. 

Can you think of other variations of this game? What sort of fun activities do you do to teach? 

(post in  comments)

Happy Teaching-

Lindarella

I Made It: Crib Skirt

I previously talked about my lack of inspiration for my daughter's nursery, but things are starting to come together. She's only 7 weeks old, after all. One of the biggest roadblocks for me in that room is the overwhelming amount of white.

We fell in love with this white crib from Ikea, and when my parents said they were making a trip, we could not pass it up. Not for $100. Naturally, we bought this matching white dresser from Walmart.com. (note: the color of the crib is slightly creamier, but they still coordinate surprisingly well for being bought separately.) I digress.

The point of this post is to show off my homemade crib skirt. I still consider myself a beginner as far as sewing goes, so it's not perfect. Still, I made it!

Here's the finished product! I wish I had made it a little shorter, but I'm the type the errs on the side of caution. I've been known to jump in too quick and totally ruin things, and, thankfully, I've learned to not do that.

I'm not doing a full on tutorial here, because there are plenty of those around pinterest. At the end of the day, sewing involves some creativity, so let your freak flag fly (and say that 5x fast!)

All that said, here's what I did.

1. Find a fabric you love. It doesn't have to be heavy, just go with your gut (and your budget.) Remember to get something for the base. I used some felt a friend gave me. I really liked working with it and I like the fact that it's sturdy.

2. Measure. I should have done this first. I bought 3 yards and that was plenty, but you should really go in with a number in mind.

3. Cut. My fabric was printed in such a way that I had to join two pieces for the front. It worked out well though. I just cut 4 strips across that were 15" long.
I also cut the felt the same size as the crib. You really don't need/ want excess here.

4. Prep pieces. This entails hemming the bottom of each piece as well as the sides (all but the two you are joining.) And then joining those two front pieces. Leave the corners open, this will make putting it on much easier.

I really love this picture. 

5.Pin and Gather. Using safety pins (with little ones around I figured this was the best route) I began by pinning the ends of the fabric to the edges of the felt. Then I pinned the center of the fabric to the center of the center of the felt. Note: if you joined two pieces that don't flow together, tuck the seam into the center fold. This will hide the spot where the pattern clashes.
After pinning the center, I just worked my way through trying to leave enough room for ruffles throughout without making it look too uniform. I added a fold about every 2-3".

After I pinned it all, it took a little bit of tweaking to get it just right.

I also folded half one way and half the other, because I have a deep need for symmetry in my life.

By the way, you only need 3 sides. I should have said that earlier, but it seemed obvious.

I draped this over the back of my couch and sat comfortably pinning.

6. Sew it together. I don't think I need to elaborate here, but here's a picture!

Don't run over you pins. Take them out, while there's still time!

7. Put it on the crib! The moment of satisfaction- when you've made something that works like it should!

So pretty! I'm excited for the day we convert this to a toddler bed and ruffles can be free!

Thanks for stopping by-
Lindarella

The Ever-Illusive Clean House

There are just some things I have to avoid on Pinterest. If you're addicted like the rest of us, you know what I mean. There are those places in our lives that we want to obtain so painfully that, when given an unlimited amount of pictures of the perfection we crave, it can get obsessive, and fast.
One of those, for me, is the home decor stuff. I love a pretty house. I could scroll for hours looking at furniture, paint schemes and textiles. But that's not my life.
My life is, in no particular order:
Socks on the floor
Sheets that need washed. Again.
Rugs that need vacuuming. Again.
Chile splatters on the stove
Legos I maneuver around, to my dismay, unsuccessfully
Water on the floor
Dishes in the sink
"is this clean or dirty?"
"I don't know, I haven't seen it today."
and the list goes on.

If you have children (or a husband) you know what I'm talking about.
The first few months of life with a baby were rough on me. I was, like all new moms, trying to figure out how to a) keep the baby alive, and b) somehow continue to function as an adult. I had imagined that since I was no longer working I would be able to stay on top of things and that parents with messy houses were just playing the victim.
What a wild imagination I once had!

So after trying to stay on top of things and then failing to do so and then being upset at myself for failing, I kinda broke down. I told my husband, "when the house is messy, I just feel so stressed and anxious and I don't even know where to start!" (Fact: my reaction to feeling overwhelmed is to shut down.)

And then I had one of those moments when I knew God gave me this great man for a reason. Lots of them, actually.

He said, "your peace should not come from a clean house." 

I immediately knew he was right. My peace should come from God and knowing that I've done all I could for His glory each day. Now, I still fail at that too. His mercy is so deep.

Realizing that there will be decades of my life that don't revolve around diapers and toys, and that I can enjoy a really clean house then has revolutionized my days. It doesn't mean that I'm okay letting things pile up around me, but at the end of a chaotic day, I can feel like I've done enough. And that is good enough for me.

Happy Chaos,
Lindarella

Nursery Prep: Part One

I think the concept of nurseries is a little bit silly. After all, the baby doesn't really notice the little details we add to their room. They are in there when they are asleep or getting their diaper changed. Plus they are so much more fascinated by studying our features and learning about life than they really are checking out the paint job in the nursery. None-the-less, we do it. We set up their little spaces as a way to welcome them into the world and feel, as parents, that we've given them something purely out of love.

Now that I'm officially into my third trimester, I've been mulling over what to do with this room that will soon have a new life in it. But with hormones and holidays about to hit the fan, I've got some dilemmas:
1. We're renting. I don't want to add anything to the room that is later going to take a lot of effort to remove.
2. I don't want to over-do it. Like I said, I want to give her a space that welcoming and calming, not excessive and chaotic.
3. I'm running short on time and funds. We've got to do Christmas, we just bought a new (to us) vehicle and are slowly building a pile of baby things. Nursery decor, while fun and exciting, is not a major priority. Whatever I come up with has to be simple and inexpensive.
4. Shades or canopy? The windows have blinds, but they still let in quite a bit of light. I'd like to have a the option to darken the room a bit so she can nap peacefully during the day. But, again, things have to be removable. I really am not looking to drill holes and install curtain rods. My thought is to use a command hook to suspend a canopy above the crib. If I can find one I trust, that is.
5. Contrast. The room is white. The crib is white. The dresser will probably also be white. I need to find way to infuse color into the room without it getting busy.

I love bright colors. I really do. As I mature, I've seen my taste mature a bit. I used to love the look of yellow and hot pink together. Now I might be more into a cranberry and mustard. But really, it's just an age-appropriate version of the same colors.
I don't want to force my taste on my daughter. As silly as it sounds, I want her to discover colors and combinations that she loves all on her own. This, along with wanting the room to be soothing, has directed me toward muted colors schemes and patterns. I'll say that I'm pretty fond of this fabric ---->
Allen said it might be a bit hipster. I don't totally disagree, but I still haven't found anything I like better. (I've spent the day pinning fabric, which you can see here.)

I'm wanting to keep it very simple and do a crib skirt and rail cover with this and then buy solid colored or neutral patterned sheets. This leaves a lot of options with the rest of the room. I'll probably go ahead and make a changing pad cover as well.
I'm tossing around the idea of a mobile. That may be too much with a canopy, but we'll see how I'm feeling once I get going.

I guess all of this is to say, "I haven't done anything but buy a crib. I'm open to suggestions."
If you've been there, you know that no mind is busier than that of a pregnant mama, so thanks for sticking with me through my mental process.

Lindarella

What sort of decor did you do for your babies? Do you know any amazing renter's secrets?

Five Things You Outgrow With Your Third Child

Let's face it, we live a world designed for a family of four. As we near the birth of our third child, I've been noticing things that will no longer work for our family and here are a few of them.

1. Dish Set- Those awesome 16 piece sets are great, but not for five people. Luckily all three of our kiddos can eat of their plastic dinnerware for a few more years. No need to replace quite yet.

2. The Table- Speaking of mealtime, our adorable little table is not going to live a purposeful life in our house for much longer. It will be a couple years before the baby will outgrow the highchair, but once she does- see ya!

3. Toothbrush Holder- Yep. That cute one we picked out for a wedding registry is now obsolete. I guess it gets my husband off the hook about putting his away.

4. Car- We recently had to upgrade to a vehicle with a third row. It's a nice upgrade though, since we get to put the noisy boys ALL THE WAY in the back,

5. Your hands- It may seem obvious, but I've been thinking a lot lately about how I'm actually going to corral three children with two hands. It should be interesting.

I'm so excited about this baby. I've always wanted three kiddos, so I'm hoping for that "complete" feeling for our family.
What's your ideal family size?

Lindarella

Pregnancy Faves! First Trimester

This being my third pregnancy to make it past the first trimester, I've learned a few things. Like what to avoid.
Some of my triggers are heavy scents, hunger and feeling overheated.
These are things I've enjoyed this time around, so I thought I would share.

Pictures were taken from online sources. Picture 3. is from
the website: livelaugheat.com. The others can be found
on the websites of the retailers. 

 1. Indigo Blue Skinny Jeans from Motherhood Maternity. I love that the band at the top is not too thick, making it more breathable. Also, they fall comfortably under my belly, so I can breathe easy.

2. Lush Eau Roma Water. It's a simple toner water I spritz on as often as I need a little refreshing. The scent is very natural and calming. I sometimes even spray it on for fragrance, since I can't handle perfumes.

3. Ginger Cat Cookies from Trader Joe's. Keeping these on hand really helped with morning sickness throughout the first trimester and beyond. I kept them in my room for the first 16 weeks or so.

4. Suave Professionals Rosemary and Mint. I know it's the cheap stuff, but this scent is so good! If you don't have hair with special needs, this is a great basic shampoo that cleanses well. The conditioner does what it should. Why spend more than you have to, right?

5. Folgers Lively Columbian Decaf. We're coffee snobs around here (full disclosure). But honestly, this is a great decaf! I'm able to enjoy more than one cup a day and drinking decaf helps me keep my blood pressure and heart burn under control.

I shop on a realistic budget. All of these things are reasonably priced, so I hope if you're expecting, you can enjoy them too!

Let's Talk About Sex. Or Not.

Reading the Bible as a teenager, I began to feel like it was a big list of don'ts; and for me, being raised in church I was pretty happy to comply with them. But something starts to happen when everyone sees God's word that way. We all start to feel a little bit afraid of everything. We ask questions like "is it a sin to _______?" (smoke weed, eat meat, drink alcohol, etc.) When really the questions we should be asking are "God, is my heart tuned into yours?" "Am I doing this for the right reasons?" "who's approval am I seeking?"

The big problem with Christians feeling fearful is that we react in one of two ways:
1) We treat everything like a sin and rob ourselves and others of our God-given freedom, or
2) We start treating our Christian walks like a game, always trying to find a loop-hole to get a step ahead.

Do you want to know where I think this trips us up the most?
Sexuality.

From Genesis- Revelation the word talks about sex, and mostly what we should abstain from.
That tends to send us spiraling into fear because there are so many things that aren't specifically addressed. We're afraid of it. Our teachers are afraid of it. We don't feel like we have answers, so we handle it in one of the two ways described above.

That leads us to rooms and conversations I can say I wish had never happened. As a teenager, serving at a Christian summer camp, I, along with about six other girls were sat down and told that the way we were dressing was causing the boys to have to masturbate. My initial thoughts were something like, "isn't that their problem?" But it never seems to be. I've sat through numerous teachings, big and small, that carefully explained why men are so sexually vulnerable. They're apparently visual (aren't we all?) And while some science kinda backs that, I don't see where the Bible does. Men and women are both sexually vulnerable. It's just for different reasons.

• men view sex as something they can conquer,
• women view sex as a form of love, attention or affection. 

 But according to the general christian population, the solution is for women to wear more clothing and for all of us to get married ASAP.

Okay, now if you all will bare (ha ha.. get it) with me for moment, let it be known: I care deeply about my brothers in Christ. So much so that when I get dressed in the morning, I ask myself if what I'm wearing is going to be a distraction to the men around me. If it's even borderline, I am willing to change. But who decided that
1) Men are not strong enough to fight temptation, and therefore must be handled with kids gloves,
2) Women should be held accountable for a man's sin and
3) women's struggles are less important and don't need to be addressed.
 Does a woman's provocative clothing express a deep desire for attention? Yes. But we're not dealing with heart issues here, are we? We're merely spraying perfume on caskets.

 Correction could be such a powerful tool in the body if it were not being used to soothe the fears of our leaders. The sad truth is that I'm not sure many of us even know what victory over sexual temptation looks like anymore. It's no wonder we're all afraid of it. But fear does not overcome. Faith overcomes. What if we were to radically change the way we see the Bible? What if every time we read a command or a strong suggestion against certain sexual acts, we didn't tremble with fear? What if every time we read about something God wants us to stay away from, we see that God is saying, "it is possible." ?  Read Romans 1:18-24. In verse 24 it says that God gave them over to their sinful desires and sexual impurity. But this is after refusal to glorify the God that they knew and instead choosing to think like the world and worship idols! It would take a lot for most of us to get to the point where God does not supply the strength we need through our temptations.

Let's look more specifically at what verse 20 says-

For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.

We are without excuse. We may not want to believe that, but that's the truth. We know God's power and His goodness. We can see evidence of it everywhere. We say that we know Him. So why are we putting Him in a box? Does His ability to deliver stop at sexual temptation? Does our free will not apply here? Are we just waiting for temptation to grab hold and drag us through the mud with neither ourselves nor God able to stop it? NO!

I'm not coming to you as a bitter woman proclaiming that life has been unfair to me. I am coming to you as a mother. I would be doing my sons a huge injustice to continue these lies that they have to be victims of physical urges for the rest of their lives. That the only solution is marriage, and at that, their wives are only there to help them sexually. I would be failing my daughter if I didn't tell her that the choices she makes with with her body need to be made between her and God, not out of guilt or fear. It would be a mistake to assume that my sons will be the only ones faced with sexual temptations or that my daughter will crave attention more than my sons will.

Is there anyone willing to stand with me on this? I want my children to know the truth. I want that for your family, too.

Lindarella

What Does it Cost to Stay Home?

In 2009 I was working a pretty nice job. Friendly church ladies taking care of little ones all day and getting paid to chit chat during nap time. I liked my job, but I knew it couldn't last forever. I was pregnant and being in a job that didn't pay that well meant that continuing to work would cost us, not only the expense of childcare, which would almost cancel out my paycheck, but also the loss of precious time with our first child. It just didn't make sense to keep working. Especially taking care of other people's children while I dropped mine off with a stranger. So I resigned and, with the exception of working a few holiday hours in 2010, have never gone back.

People have often said to me, "I wish I could afford to stay home." Which I could let go to my head and feel really good about myself. But the truth is most people could afford to be a one income family, they just don't want to live that way. We manage to get along debt free, and we really don't make that much in terms of salary. So if you think you would like to stay home and care for your home and family full time, here's a picture of what that looks like:

• We don't eat out. I won't say "ever" but when we do, it's usually pizza because we're exhausted or fast food because we're too far from home. 
• We shop sales. Our kids are growing, seasons are changing and we all need clothes. Sometimes we have to wait until next paycheck to buy a new package of socks or I will stalk my email until I find a great deal. 
• We don't vacation. We can usually pull off a camping trip or staying with family for a few days to get away, but.. yeah. The last time we paid for a hotel room for just us was our wedding night. Seriously. 
• We drive older vehicles. And guess what? they run just fine.
• We have old, miss-matched furniture. I don't like it, but currently new furniture is not on the list of priorities. 
• We don't see movies in the theater. Are you kidding me? By the time you pay the sitter and buy tickets, you're left with regret and a popcorn-free belly. Not worth it. 
• We strategically plan Christmas spending. We save for it and we hit the Black Friday sales. It's an adventure, and not always pleasant, but we make a priority of giving. 
• We budget clothing and medical expenses. This has been a game-changer. Instead getting hit with a practical expense, we are learning to expect it. Now we don't have to feel guilty or selfish if one of us needs new shoes or more jeans. It's okay. We have a place for that. I don't have to stress that the extra ultrasound my doctor wants is going to take a bite out of our paycheck, either. It's in the budget.
• We live in a small house. We are bursting at the seams now expecting a new baby, but we're sticking it out here because it's what we can afford. We want to save for a house, not spend more on a rental.
• Some days I feel discouraged. If I get caught up in comparisons and discontentment, I spiral into self-pity about how everyone's life looks more perfect than mine. The truth is we are all making choices that determine where our sacrifices will fall. 

Many choose a path of buy now, pay later. Some sacrifice the time with their little ones to afford the extras. That's their choice, and it's okay, but it's not the life I want. I want to feel like I can afford what I have and be happy with it. I want to influence my children in big way before this world tries to tell them they are not enough. This is what that looks like. Do I love it? not always. Sacrifice is painful! But when we get to throw money in savings instead of paying creditors, yeah, I love it.

Lindarella

Have a Healthier Facebook Life

A couple of months ago I decided to take a break from Facebook. Most people do this from time to time to either refocus their lives a bit or get a breather from all the drama. I think my choice was a little of both.

So as I was living my life disconnected, I noticed a few things: 

1. I felt a little happier with my life, overall. 

2. I missed the time-filler aspect, but I didn't really miss it. 

3. I found myself making more personal connections. 

My biggest struggle in life has always been comparison. From the time I made my first friend as a kid, I think I've always thought a lot about how I measure up. Facebook can be a pitfall in that way. We see everyone's relationships, vacations and fun stuff they do with friends and family and suddenly we realize we're spectators. There are those who are out there playing the game of life, and we're the ones reading about it. Not a great feeling. Especially when you think about the fact that most of our day-to-day contact with the outside world is with people that we haven't ever shared a meal with or even seen in years. Not healthy. 

We cannot swap Facebook for fellowship. I know it's hard to put yourself out there, and "liking" a post can be easier than even saying "hello" to someone.  But we have to do it. We were created for relationships. So here are a couple ideas I have to make Facebook a little better for all of us. 

1. Hide- Hide people who complain a lot and people who brag a lot. Keep a list of who you've hidden and maybe go by their page every so often just to say "hi." 

2. Make it more personal- I'm tired of all the shares and the memes. I want to know how your day was! If I'm more likely to take interest in a real status update, chances are most other people feel the same. 

3. Be a Friend- Send messages, write on boards, comment. "Likes" are passive and non-committal. If this is a filler for personal interaction, then INTERACT! 

4. Get around real people- Create an event and invite people you haven't seen in a while. And when you are out with friends and family, don't feel the need to upload 15 pictures of it. You're making others feel left out, and that's not nice. 

5. Take invites seriously- (This is the thing I'm worst at.) Don't assume that someone just invited every person on their friends list. I would never do that. I think about who I want around my kids or in certain settings. If you've been invited to something, be as courteous as you would be with a mailed invitation. 

6. Play nice- Keep your own comments and posts friendly and respectful. I don't play by the "no politics, no religion" rules. There are things I believe in and sometimes I do want to make a statement about that, but it should all be done with courtesy. Don't jump into comment battles, don't call people out and don't put people down (not even the President.) Negativity could just get you hidden. 

I'm working on these, and I hope you'll try it too. Let's take Facebook back and make it fun again! 

Lindsay 

Making a Fool-Proof Grocery List

We've all done it. You write out a list of stray items you need around the house, you go shopping and less than 48 hours later, you're doing it all over again. Why? because we're busy. And when we get busy, we often get disorganized or forgetful.
I am both most of the time.

So I've formulated a way of doing my list that solves the problem, mostly. Does it mean we never make a mid-week trip for and extra gallon of milk? no. But When we moved to a small town a few months ago and realized that driving to the nearest city was the only way to keep our cost down on food, I had to figure out a way to condense our trips. Here's what I do:

1. Throughout the week, if I see something running low (like laundry soap or paper towels) I write it on a magnetic notepad on my fridge. That way it doesn't become an oversight since it's not exactly part of the menu.

I make a list of sales I'm interested in so that I don't
have to fumble around with ads. 

2. Check the ads. Work off of what's on sale, but be aware of cost. For instance- I can get chicken breast for $1.99lb most of the time, but if I'm doing enchiladas or stew, I don't need breast meat. I can always find boneless skinless chicken thighs for about $1.79lb. With a little trimming, It works just as well, if not easier. Don't buy something just because it's on sale.

3. Make a menu.
This is complicated if your lost for ideas, but it doesn't have to be. Give yourself a break and don't over-think it. We might do enchiladas one night and tostadas the next. I make on pot of beans, serve them on the side with enchiladas and then re-fry them for the next night's dinner. Using items like this in different ways gives your family variety AND helps you keep your cost down.

Hint- Use a pencil! I change my mind all the time, and I also
check with my Husband to see if he had anything in mind for
the next couple of weeks. Leave room for flexibility. 

Start with a basic notebook. Write "Breakfast...Lunch...Dinner" across the top and then, skipping lines, write your days on the side. I usually do two weeks at a time since we take our shopping trips after each payday. I also keep a calender handy so I can plan around upcoming events or holidays, for instance, if I know we'll be out of town for the weekend, I can plan what to pack for our trip and skip over meals we may have with family or at a restaurant. If I know it's going to be rainy on Thursday, I may want to plan for soup. Be practical, not obsessive.

4. Make a master list. This is simple- go through your menu and write down everything you will need to accomplish each meal. I usually categorize my list in sections of the store:
Dairy, Meat, Dry Goods, Produce and Household. Even if you think you're done with a section, leave at least 3 spaces just in case. This is when I grab my "stray items" list from the fridge and add it in, most of it falls in the Household section.

5. Take inventory. Some of you can probably eliminate this step while you make your master. If you know you have it, don't write it down. For those of us who forget things.. a lot.. take inventory.

6. The last thing I do is grab my sales list and then mark items on the master that are on sale. If it's on sale at Sam's I'll write "SA" next to it, if it's at Smith's I'll write "SM." Then I make a key for reference to help me remember and it helps if I pass my list to my husband so he knows what's going on.

It seems like a lot of steps for "just a list" BUT I think it's been worth it for me to be more thorough. Our monthly budget is at $360 a month, which is pretty modest for a family of four. We don't always stay on target, but fulfilling my menu, not buying impulse items and seeing the kitchen empty out every two weeks tells me we're not being wasteful, and that feels awesome.

Happy Shopping-
Lindarella

Why Do We All Want Genius Children, Anyway?

I am not convinced teaching is my gift. At least not the sit down and explain things kind of teaching. Relationships- I'm pretty good at that. I mean, I read most people like a child's board book, so I would hope that in my daily interactions and teaching moments with my boys, they're getting that. But I feel like a total failure when it comes to crafts, writing and even numbers. But I'm starting to wonder if all of the pressure to be better at these things is in my head?

I spoke with a Kindergarten teacher who said she really didn't think preschool made a difference as far a child's ability to keep up when they start school. And that's just it- we all want to push our kids and we already feel behind (aren't 4-year-old kids in China taking Algebra 1 or something?) Is it anything more than a game of comparisons with other families?

For me it's been more like a big attempt to make up for lost time. If I would have pushed myself, I could have been an A student. But I didn't. I would have loved an AP English or choir solos, but I was too timid. Some of those things, you just can't knock out of a person. How many times did my parents tell me to be brave and outgoing? It's not like they didn't. I was just shy.

My son is just shy. When he starts responding to me in a weird voice or hiding behind something, he's just being shy. I get it, too. We're all a little bit afraid to let people see what's going on inside our minds. Perhaps my best effort in teaching him new things is to just keep talking to him. Let him know he's safe. He can mess up. He can give me a wrong answer, and I will give him as many second chances as it takes. Why? because that's what God does for me. He lets me know I'm safe and He give out grace like nobody's business.

I want to teach them to go after what they want and to dream big and to love people with an unfailing type of love. That gets taught by example, and I think I can do that with the help of a very gracious God. If my kids are B students and don't raise their hand because they're shy, they will be okay. I am. Especially now that I see my child's education is not my big comeback.

Still learning here-
Lindarella