Remain

God's word has this really magical way of tying up every loose end of my little life into the truth that is and will always be His love for me. I saw that shine through today stronger than I have in a long time.

So sit back, I've got a story to tell:

Sometime about five years ago, I had a very vivid dream and I believe to this day that even though I didn't fully understand it then, God's voice was the narrator.
In the dream I was in a large van on my way to a picnic at the bottom of a mountain. I was heading there with some people I considered to be spiritual role-models at the time. I knew that my husband didn't really care to go, but I had the feeling that this was something I didn't want to miss, and so I went. I'm not sure if we actually hiked that mountain, but I think we did.
On our way back, we saw my husband on the side of the road. He was struggling to climb a significantly smaller hill than the mountain I had just been to. So I got out and tried to help him, but he fell. Now, under natural circumstances, this wouldn't have been a big deal because of the size of the hill, but in the dream he started to die! I, feeling helpless, looked at him hoping for some sort of instruction about what he needed me to do, but sadly I watched him wither away.

I have always felt that God was telling me not to go chasing after the hype of Christianity; But know that my battles were going to be fought alongside my spouse, even if they seemed insignificant at the time.

It's easy when you're young and passionate about serving, to feel like the "God thing" could be your claim to fame. Let it be known, He is the one we make famous through our gifts and our serving.

The truth is that I've got a lot of little hills in my life that I need to conquer. And fortunately, God gave me a very strong man to stand beside me, help me up and give me some cold, hard facts when needed. That's the guy I need by my side on those little hills, when I feel like it's not even worth the bother. When I think that somehow I can go around it instead of over it and just worry about the mountains.

So hear me in this- I'm an ENFP. Spirituality is more real to me than my next meal. I don't even have to think about some things that might seem a little bizarre, because it just feels natural to BE spiritual. In fact sometimes I have to really guard myself from false teachings because I'm quick to trust without question. I'd say that my hubby is pretty opposite of me in this way. He knows God, believes God, his hope is in God. He wants to hear God's voice and he wants to make God centered choices. But MAN he has a hard time showing it. I want to jump into ministry head first and he is like "don't spend too much time at church." And so, sometimes I go on the defensive, feeling like our priorities are not in line. I'm pretty sure I said something like "I want to smack you in the head with a Bible right now.." just a few days ago. Yeah.. I did. That was effective. Not.

But today, as I dove into the last week of bible study reading for the class I'm currently taking, God smacked me over the head with His word.

John 15 Talks about God's way of shaping our hearts to be more like His. Cutting off all that does not bear fruit and pruning all the things that do, so they can be MORE effective.

That's hard to hear. Even the good stuff is going to take a painful process before it can really start producing.

But over and over again as I read, I just kept hearing those 3 little words:

Remain in Me

I have to stop trying to make everyone around me fit into my mold of "being spiritual." I don't want to stop. I want to keep pushing it because I'm happy here. But that's not what God is speaking. He is saying love each other. If anything ever had the power to get through to people, it's love. And I do not say that as a means of manipulating people, (because it can do that too, but it will backfire because it's not genuine.) But remain in Him. Remain in Him. Remain in Him. Remain in Him.  

Lindsay